SHOW NOTES
In this week’s Mind ReMapping Moment, I am joined by a good friend, researcher, medical doctor, health coach, teacher, and family man. We are discussing raising empowered black boys and the dad and mom conversations.
· How can one embody both the mom and dad energy?
· How can we empower our kids to be motivated in setting their goals?
· Why do we need to discuss emotional fluency?
These and many more await you in this week’s special episode with Dr. Ayim Darkeh, who worked in academic medical centers teaching residents and medical students. While working in the ER, he still tries to give people accurate information about their health. He can provide them with a systematic approach to getting healthier. In this episode, he will discuss his children, who inspire him to learn and grow in ways that are sometimes uncomfortable but necessary. Today we will also learn how to empower our kids physically, mentally, and emotionally.
One can embody both energies: The mom and dad energy.
There are various perspectives on how we approach raising our kids. Having that mom and dad energy in the community and the home is essential. We have views on the role of each one and how we step into those powerfully so that we can raise empowered and balanced emotionally intelligent children. Dads can get exhausted, too, like moms are always. Sometimes we also get stuck in the box of mom and dad without remembering that there are caretakers out there who are not biological parents.
Providing scaffolding for our children
Our children’s capacity to do something conveys the message, and sometimes they cannot do what we ask at that moment. Children do not need to be rushed prematurely to the next stage; running through the moment and trying to reach the next step is antithetical to mindfulness. The ability to pick up clues, speak out about what is happening, and give your kids something else is enormous. All the things you are doing might not have a long-term positive outcome that many parents might not want to hear, and that is because, again, of our children’s capacity.
Reframing Emotions
Sometimes, presence is enough; there is no need for a magic pill or magic word because we do not always have the words. When emotion is present, and we don’t always have the words to console, it’s just about holding space for the person and making it okay for our kids to have an emotion and knowing that we will be there with them through that emotion. When the emotional vocabulary is anger, sad, happy, or excited, we can start to piece it out and expand the dynamic lexicon by reframing the name of those emotions. For our kids to have emotions, we must make it okay for them to feel emotions and not invalidate their feelings. It is also essential that we are emotionally honest with our kids.
When kids set their own goals, they are more motivated to achieve them, and we want to give them the tools to work through them. We, as parents, are not here to fix or solve everything, but we are here to be with our children as they go through everything. Sometimes, presence is enough; there is no need for a magic pill or magic word because we do not always have the words. Or kids go through stages, and that stage is not a phase; it is not something you can go through. It represents the child’s brain capacity to comprehend or do one thing or another. And so understanding what’s needed in a particular, like emotional or psychological development stage, is so important.
About Dr. Ayim Darkeh
Ayim Darkeh is a medical doctor, health and wellness expert, leadership coach, and transformation specialist. He is the founder and CMO of Healthy with Dr. D, a health and wellness initiative designed to empower his clients to reclaim their physical and psychological fitness.
Connect with Dr. Ayim Darkeh, MD via the following:
Website: https://healthywithdrd.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthywithdrd/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HealthywithDrD
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Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne
Check out my TEDxtalk https://youtu.be/iOboT5uRhXU
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