SHOW NOTES:
In this week’s Mind ReMapping Moment, I am joined once again by a fellow Black Therapist who is male. We are discussing a crucial topic related to how vertical intimacy strengthens our relationship with ourselves and others.
· How well do we communicate?
· What is vertical intimacy?
· What do we need to begin cultivating closeness in the people we want to be close to?
These and a whole lot more await you in this week’s special episode with Len Sturdivant, a love and relationship coach who offers individual, group, couples, and even online consultations. In this episode, he will teach us that if we cannot create intimacy vertically, then we cannot connect with people. Today, we will learn about cultivating vertical intimacy, communication, and healing traumas.
All about Vertical Intimacy.
Vertical Intimacy is the foundation for reciprocity. Reciprocity and resentment cannot live in the same space. We cannot and do not always recognize when someone is bidding for connection, so learning the concept of vertical intimacy is so important. It is also helpful in friendships, parent-child relationships, and the broad spectrum. You must create intimacy vertically to connect with people. When we can love that inner child, we can have those reflections in our family and our community of ourselves, and we can experience that vertical intimacy.
Cultivating vertical intimacy between two grown people.
The first task we need to master is, how do I love myself? We need to re-parent ourselves and do the things that were not done for us early on so that we can begin to address the missing half of us. It would be great if we have a mate to help us re-parent that part of us.
Communication
Meaningful conversation is excellent- not just surface-level conversation- in which you go deep into chat and ask more intimate questions. It does not have to be deeply personal. It will involve some risk, and the risk is the reflection that comes back to you. You are connected when a person can see into you, no matter who they are; then dialogue is possible, and communication is possible.
We have to cultivate the intimacy with ourselves. So when we develop, that means healing our traumas; it means acknowledging them because we cannot heal before we recognize them. We have to be open and willing to look and accept so that we can heal those traumas and those old conversations that have us unable to and unwilling to open up to love ourselves first and then forge that connection with another.
About Len Sturdivant:
Len Sturdivant got his Master’s Degree in Psychology from N.C. Central University. He completed 140 hours of doctoral training in marriage and family therapy at Virginia Tech. He conducted several workshops and conferences on relationships and held panel discussions on marriages and divorce. His work mainly focuses on relationship/family coaching and divorce interventions. He helps couples who want to change how they communicate with each other and move on to the next level.
Connect with Len via the following:
Website: https://relationshipcoach.pro
Email: len@relationshipcoach.pro
Instagram: www.instagram.com/relationshipcoachpro
Facebook: www.facebook.com/LuvDocLen
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Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne
Check out my TEDx talk https://youtu.be/iOboT5uRhXU
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