BBB 13: High Tolerance May Be a Tip Off for Trauma

Episode 13: High Tolerance May Be a Tip Off for Trauma

In today’s episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors and the Brain, we’re diving deep into the concept of redefining resilience, especially in the context of trauma, high tolerance, and marginalized communities.

What if what we’ve been calling strength is actually a survival strategy? What if our high tolerance for pain and pressure isn’t proof of resilience but a sign of unaddressed wounds?

Let’s explore the difference between healthy stress and toxic endurance, and why it’s time to rethink what resilience really means.

High Tolerance: A Double-Edged Sword

In many cultures, particularly among marginalized groups, high tolerance has long been praised. Whether it’s enduring long shifts, absorbing emotional pain, or staying silent in the face of mistreatment, this tolerance is often mistaken for resilience.

“Having a high pain tolerance was sort of worn as a badge of honor and strength.”

But constantly “pushing through” doesn’t mean we’re thriving. It can lead to burnout, numbness, and disconnection from our needs and bodies.

The Hidden Cost of Toxic Tolerance

While some level of stress can build strength, toxic stress, chronic and unrelieved, erodes well-being over time.

When rest and recovery are missing, what begins as determination becomes a dangerous cycle. The line between healthy resilience and harmful endurance blurs, often leading to long-term physical, mental, and emotional harm.

“We can have stress in our lives and periods of rest and recovery that could increase our tolerance to stress.”

Trauma, Resilience, and the Next Generation

Resilience is often passed down, but that doesn’t mean it’s always passed down in the healthiest ways.

Many of us learned to endure without questioning why. But as we begin redefining resilience, we must ask: Is this method of coping still serving us? And what are we teaching our children about strength?

To build a healthier future, we must shift from teaching silent endurance to modeling boundaries, emotional literacy, and healing.

Why Trauma-Informed Communication Matters

When we recognize that high tolerance may stem from unresolved trauma, we can begin to approach others with greater empathy.

Trauma-informed communication isn’t about fixing people, it’s about listening, validating, and creating environments where people feel safe enough to let down their guard.

“My course of communication that transforms is all about expanding our capacity to listen, to communicate in a trauma-responsive manner.”

Conclusion: Let’s Rethink What Resilience Looks Like

True strength isn’t about enduring pain silently, it’s about knowing when to rest, when to speak up, and when to heal.

By redefining resilience, we can move away from outdated models that glorify burnout and start embracing frameworks that prioritize emotional intelligence, trauma-informed care, and holistic well-being.

Let’s stop measuring strength by how much we can take, and start measuring it by how well we care for ourselves and one another.

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

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