Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it’s also one of the most avoided conversations. In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors & The Brain, I sit down with Dr. Chinasa Elue, award-winning professor, TEDx speaker, and grief coach—to explore how grief shows up in ways we rarely recognize.
We talk about how grief extends far beyond the death of loved ones, appearing in life transitions, identity shifts, layoffs, divorces, and even through collective events like the pandemic. Dr. Elue’s personal journey through loss and her work with clients reveal how grief, when left unspoken, seeps into every part of our lives, and how naming it becomes the first step toward healing.
The Many Faces of Grief
Grief isn’t confined to funerals or memorials. It lives in the loss of routines, roles, friendships, and even parts of ourselves. As Dr. Elue explains, people often overlook forms of grief tied to career changes, retirement, chronic illness, or children leaving home. Recognizing these invisible losses allows us to give language to emotions we may have ignored or mislabeled as fatigue, apathy, or frustration.
Even vicarious grief, such as mourning a public figure, is real and valid because it represents connection and shared meaning. The act of acknowledging grief, whatever form it takes, is itself an act of self-compassion.
Why We Avoid Grief
Many people resist grieving because they fear it will consume them. The thought of “falling apart” feels unsafe in a culture that glorifies productivity. Dr. Elue reminds us that suppressed grief doesn’t disappear, it manifests as anxiety, irritability, or emotional shutdown.
True healing begins when we give ourselves permission to pause, feel, and process. Grief doesn’t end life; it redefines it.
Supporting Others Through Presence
One of the most powerful insights from Dr. Elue’s work is that presence matters more than words. There’s no perfect phrase to erase pain. Instead, she encourages small acts of care: bringing food, helping tidy the house, or simply sitting in silence.
Avoid platitudes like “They’re in a better place.” Instead, say, “I’m here, and I care.” Presence, not perfection, is what comforts the grieving heart.
Making Space for Grief in Organizations
In the workplace, grief is often invisible but deeply felt. Standard bereavement leave rarely supports real healing. Dr. Elue suggests that leaders can humanize their workplaces by offering flexibility, adjusted workloads, and gradual returns after loss.
Creating psychologically safe environments where grief is acknowledged, not punished, builds loyalty, empathy, and trust. It also protects organizational health, reducing burnout and turnover.
Listening for What Grief Looks Like
Grief may appear as withdrawal, anger, missed deadlines, or lack of focus. These shifts aren’t signs of laziness—they’re signs of pain. Compassionate leaders and colleagues notice these cues and open gentle dialogue, asking, “How can I support you right now?”
Sometimes the body shows grief before the mind can name it. Movement, rest, and grounding practices can help regulate emotions and release the weight we carry silently.
Grief and Joy Can Coexist
One of my favorite takeaways from Dr. Elue’s insight is that grief and joy are not opposites. Allowing moments of laughter or celebration doesn’t erase loss—it honors resilience. Healing comes from giving ourselves permission to feel everything, without guilt or timeline.
Conclusion
Grief is not something to conquer but to companion. When we allow ourselves and others to experience it fully, we create space for transformation, empathy, and connection.
Let this be a reminder: you are not broken for grieving. You are human.
About the Guest
Dr. Chinasa Elue is an award-winning professor, TEDx speaker, grief coach, and CEO and Founder of True Titans Consulting Group. Her work centers on creating spaces for authentic conversations about grief to foster more holistic and compassionate support in our communities. Through her grief coaching practice, she walks alongside individuals navigating loss of all kinds, helping them move forward with empathy and care.
Dr. Chinasa Elue, is hosting a powerful Grief Retreat this December here in Atlanta. If you or someone you know could benefit from a supportive, healing space during a difficult season, I encourage you to check it out and share it with others who may need it.
You can find the flyer and full details here:
👉 https://www.drchinasaelue.com/come-alive-retreat
Follow Dr. Chinasa Elue
Website: www.drchinasaelue.com
Instagram: @drchinasaelue
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drchinasaelue
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Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne
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